Someone had to do it. Someone had to step up. It had to be done. Shut up, yes it did.
This is one of the photos that came up when I searched for “gum” on the WordPress stock photo gallery. I thought I would share my confusion with you. Maybe the cat is named Gum? Maybe there’s gum in the plastic thing hanging from the ceiling? Is that gum in the glass case to the right? Looks more like cigars or….
Let’s move on with the review!
Banana-ish. Soft and delicious for three minutes. Is now becoming the consistency of a gym shoe.
Grape Triaminic. Juicy. Began to solidify in less than 30 seconds. Flavor wasn’t even gone yet.
Wow. Wow. This seems to be what an alien thinks blue raspberry tastes like. Nothing in real life tastes like this. Seems to have instantly transformed into one of those blue gum erasers artists use, except it tastes worse.
This is the flavor of… sugar? Failed coconut? Coating is a bit crispy. Highly resistant to chewing.Taking a break. Jaw hurts. But must continue on to maintain journalistic integrity!
This clearly wants to taste like an orange. I am chewing a broken dream. Feels like sand is in there. Wow. 30 seconds and its so hard I can’t make my top and bottom molars meet without grinding. Didn’t even notice when the flavor vanished.
Exterior looks mottled. Flavor is… what is this? Not apple. Not watermelon. The bitter aftertaste makes it difficult to tell. Chewing for three minutes and it’s still soft. Perhaps poor flavor increases softness? Gum feels… warm. Is that normal? Rigor kicked in at 7 minutes. Now my mouth tastes like I just chewed a balloon.
Last gumball. Sides of my head hurt from chewing.
Mother of God. This isn’t an aftertaste. It’s a before-taste. I could taste it in my nose before my mouth. Makes my throat feel raspy. Slight coughing. Juicy, but somehow caustic. Instantly solidified. Have to take breaks every 5 or 6 chews. Jaw muscles are throbbing. This could be it….
8 out of 10. Will chew again. 🙂